It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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