States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
