Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
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The chlamydia really affected his face.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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