I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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