I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
