Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
