it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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