What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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