you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
time to smoke my breakfast
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
