The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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