did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
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He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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