can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
