how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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