We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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