doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
