it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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