Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
