never play flip cup with pint glasses
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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