We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
