How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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