ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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