I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
