And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
