I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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