is your mom at the bar?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I should be sponsored by Trojan
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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