what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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