Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
