Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize