Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
