It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We don't watch enough power rangers
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
