I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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