It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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