escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
