I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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