YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
