lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
