only you would photoshop your dick
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
