Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
