nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
