My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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