I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
