I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
40s are totally the cure
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
