I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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