It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
