drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
