Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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