Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
