i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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