Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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