I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
