After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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