I hate your face
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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