Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
