A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
last night I used snow as a chaser
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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