I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
