sarcasm needs its own font
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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