Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
