she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
