He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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