Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
