my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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